Marriage at 24!

It was a quiet morning on a tuesday. I had settled down to a not so smooth ride to office. I had a window seat and a book to keep me occupied for the next 1 hour. It seemed to me like any other normal day which began with a rush to the bathroom, a hurried breakfast at a near by darshini and run to the bus stop to board the early bus. I was not expecting my guy to call me up at 7.00 am, late riser that he is. I was lost in my own thoughts when my vibrating cell phone pulled me out. My cel phone said my fren XX is calling me. I will be referring to my fren as XX, to be politically correct. No personal nouns also.. It has to be only XX.

Now it was an STD call and I was wondering what had made XX call me so early. Before I could start off with the usual plesantries, XX blurted out, "I am getting engaged in a month and marriage is fixed after 4 months". My jaw dropped with a THUD. My normal sized brain was teeming with a million questions and were racing to the threshold to be voiced out. I strongest thought was, "XX is just 24". I kept mum. I thot my head would explode. Then XX began after what seemed like walking through eternity in low motion. It was worse than Alice siding down. What my fren spoke next seemed hazy. I was not concentrating at all. I had more questions to ask myself than to the owner of the voice whose sound bytes were hitting my ear drums. Meanwhile the bus stopped to pick up more weary and sleepy beings. Everything was lost in the cacophony of noises. I must have blurted out, 'Congratulations'. My fren must have eventually hung up.

I do not what ensued thereafter. Was I present at the engagement? Did I attend the wedding? Am I happy for her? Is my fren happy? I can answer a blanket "Yes" to all these questions.

However the question that I ask myself repeatedly is this, What is the right age for marriage?

I believe in angels..

I believe in angels. I want to believe in them.

I was in the 8th standard, on way to mumbai in a kamat tourist bus. We were a load of cousins and elders traveling to mumbai on a 4 day holiday. I was all eager to see the place. I sat at the aisle beside my brother in law's younger brother, a doctor, window seat crazy and a very sound sleeper. Nothing can wake him up... It was always a sheer torture for the person was appointed to wake him up after his afternoon siesta. One BIL has a peculiar craze; that of a window seat. He loves to take the window seat. Many a times he has cancelled his travel because he could not reserve a window seat.

Since the day had been pretty hectic for the holidayers, thanks to all the packing and last minute shopping, everybody settled down to night of a deep slumber. Except me, all were seasoned night travelers. No matter how much I have tried, night journeys have always kept me awake till early morning.. So it was me a very light sleeper vis a vis the rest.

Very early in the night, I observed a man sitting at the aisle opposite to me. Everything did not seem right to me. Sometime in the night, I do know the time I was awakened. A light sleeper that I am, even a rolling of the bus tyre over a pebble can wake me up. But this time it was not very normal. I could sense something amiss, a strange came over me. I cannot call it scary, but weird. I looked around, first at my folks behind me. I do not know what prompted me to scan the exterior first. My people were slumbering out cold. I turned my head at the seat beside me. Some strangers totally vegged out. Looked like they were drugged out. I did observe them for sometime. I do not know for how long I kept staring at them and was lost in my own thoughts. Though my eyes were transfixed towards my gorked neighbors, I was not particularly observing them. Two eyes, fixed in a round ball were staring at me. I jerked my head in that direction. It was the man sitting on a seat across to me on an aisle. Today I cannot recall how long we eyed each other. But to a school going girl, it seemed like a lifetime. Before I knew what was happening, the figure leaned forward and brushed my ankle. I was not taken aback, cos I could not fathom what was happening. Frankly I had no clue. Before I could react, it happened again. At first I thought that I could be imagining. He did it again. Actually, when I think of it today, I do not know what I thought of at that past moment. Then I was scared.

I looked at my brother in law who was loxed out beside me. I wanted to wake him up immediately. Waking him up had been my task when at home. But I would manage to wake up every sleeping member except him. I did not want to repeat the same now. I decided against it. I just closed my eyes tight berating myself for having agreed for this trip. My only hope was my BIL beside me, which was a hopeless one.

Then I prayed.. Today I knew what I did. But as a small girl then, I did know not what I was doing. I just prayed(It is not the right word, but I cannot put anything else here) asking for my BIL to wake up. I really wished hard that I was sitting near the window. I had not completed my last word, when my BIL stirred and sat up wide awake. I did not know that he was awakened, until he shook me hard and asked me if something was wrong. Why had I shut my eyes so tight? He looked like he was up after an entire night's sleep. I had never seen him so resplendent before. I just smiled at him. He asked me to swap seats. It was unbelievable. My window seat crazy BIL has just asked me to move to his favorite seat. I silently switched my seat. The journey went on... Who woke my brother in law? What made him switch his favorite seat with me? I do not know.

What had happened that night? I had read John Milton's poem which has a reference to angels. My teacher had explained that God cannot be at all places. So he has angels who do his bidding and they are posted over land and the seas. Today, I can explain it all...

My favorite lyrics have been that of a song by ABBA: the song featuring all its members and the angels too..

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail -
I believe in angels - Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels- When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream - I have a dreamI have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything - I see I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me - Ill cross the stream
I have a dream - Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

Men are wonderful too.. A short story

Ours was an arranged marriage. It was done the traditional way. Our parents took care of everything. My only condition was that she should be ready to work. Our horoscopes and photos were exchanged. Everything Matched. I spoke to her over the phone. We talked about things two strangers would talk. She was a lecturer in Bangalore who felt Chemistry was more important than Hindi movies. There was no engagement. The date for marriage was fixed in 2
weeks as I could not get a vacation after that. Even the vacation time I got was just 10 days.

Everything was fixed. It was supposed to be very hectic for me. We got married and 2 days later we had to leave the country. She cried like there was no tomorrow when we left. She would not talk to me on the plane. I thought that was usual for an Indian girl. I th! ought she would get over it. Once home she would not talk to me. She sat in a corner staring at the
TV. For the first couple of days I had to catch up on some work and did not take her mood seriously.

A week later I sat beside her and asked her, "What is wrong?"

"Why did you bring me here?"

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"I want to go home"

"This is your home"

"No. I want to go home. Please buy me a ticket"

"Look, everybody feels homesick. I did when I! came here the first time. It is normal. You will get over it. Sorry I have been busy with work. We can go out this weekend. You will meet my friends and other people who will be very friendly. Come on be a good girl"

"I hate this place. I miss my family, my friends, my college. All the people I know are not here. I want to go home"

"Think for a minute. Try to reason it out yourself. What is your plan by the way? So you want to go back and never come back?"

"Yes"

"Are you crazy?"

"If you think this is crazy then I am."

"It is ok if you do not answer this question. Is there someone else?"

"No. I want to go home. I will call 911 if you do not send me"

"First cool down. Think about it. Think about our parents. It is less than a month that we got married and now you want to return home. You very well knew that you had to come here. What were you thinking? Even if you are returning home what happens to our marriage?"

"I am not blaming you. I take the blame. It is my mistake. I can't stay so far away from my family. If you are so interested come to India"

"I am family too! What you are asking is ridiculous."

The next day she would not change her mind. I called my folks. They said that it was my decision and! they would stand by me. I booked her ticket and put it in her hand the next evening. She was to leave in 2 days.Nothing would convince her to change her mind. She was crying like a kid. Then she left.

She had done nothing for me to miss but something inside me was telling me that I was at fault. I tried to shake it off but as time grew I started feeling more guilty. I called her. She made it clear that she did not find me despicable but she would not leave her city. Her parents apologized profusely but they were helpless too.

I have had crushes. None of them were serious. There was this girl in my high school tuition whose phone no I managed to find out. Then the prettiest girl in college whom everybody loved, who talked to me once. Then the girl from my city who was at my university in USA who made me feel at home when I visited her place. I had ignored them once! I crossed their paths. But Anjali was my wife. I could not ignore her.

I decided to quit my job. I went home. No one back home knew I was returning. I wanted to surprise her. I dropped off my bags at my place and went to the college she was teaching. The gate keeper would not let me in.So I had to wait outside for the classes to get over.

She walked out alone, struggling to carry her bag, tired, with slow steps. She was walking towards the bus stop. I silently followed her and went behind her and whispered, "Do you mind if I carry your bag?"

She was startled and turned to face me. Her eyes lit up. I was not sure if I could hug her. I was smiling and she had a 100 questions written all over her face. "I want to spend a week with you in this city. Show me the things that you could not miss"

That one week went in a jiffy. She was treated a kid at home with all the comforts. That explained her behavior. Coffee was brought to her in the morning. Even her dress was laid out for her. She would have breakfast and leave. The bus journey was an hour. She would sit near the window with a book. Then once in the college she would teach her classes and come out
tired in the evening. She would stand in the crowded bus carrying her bag which would look heavy. Then she would alight, go home, have a snack and would head out to a friend's place.

Some times she'd stay home watching TV or listening to music. When her dad returned she would join him and they'd have dinner. Then her mom would tuck her in bed. Weekends were not much different. She would sleep late, wake up for breakfast and lie down talking on the phone. Then she would visit the temple in the evening and would have her singing lessons. Then she would eat out and woul! d head home late.That was her life. It was something every human being wanted - simple, content and happy. Of course to her I was a villain. I told her that I understood her. I wanted to know if it was ok if she stayed in the same city but away from her parents. Her only condition was that I should not stay at my parent's place to which I agreed.

So we moved into a small apartment. She knew nothing. She had to be taught everything. She learnt. It was hard to make her understand that she had duties and she had a husband. Coffee had to be brought to her in the morning. She made the rules and broke them. She did not care for me. Sometimes she would not return home but go to her parents' place without informing me. I would have had to go bring her back.

Slowly she started realizing about married life. She would wake up before me, try to cook, agree for a movie, visi! t my friend's place, invite me to her college, let me dress her up, dance in front of me, teach me Chemistry, talk about her crushes, play cricket with me, make me cry for a change. She was growing mature day by day. One day she apologized for the whole thing.I brushed it aside. Finally I had her the way I wanted.

Today I am happy and content with my life. She is still there crying to get her things done. I keep reminding her how she had threatened to call the police. She laughs it away. Some times I wonder how life would have been if I had not returned. Then again some things are left as they are.

That's how life is ...
There are two ways of meeting difficulties:
You alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them"

Xenophobia

In simple words "I do like strangers"... This is what I have realized after 23 years of being born... I am not able to categorize the aspects 'Change for good', 'change for bad'... I have never understood the difference between these. Because... one will gradually undergo a metamorphosis into another... from an ugly tadpole to an uglier frog... I do not like frogs too... I loathed the fact that I had to move always from my home to my job. Bangalore... 26 sept I had to report for my training to ILP... How much I did not like it. The feeling of hatred was lessened thanks to my huge gang of frens. But when I entered my classroom (which I know for sure... were torture chambers)... I saw loads of living things of varying sizes, shapes, colors, speaking a language that sounded harsh on my ears... scattered around the room. I could not believe that I was actually there with 'strangers'...

I do not like them cos... I have to begin from the scratch, make pleasant conversations with them, and ask them questions that will not mean anything to me... like... 'Where you are from, what do your folks back home do...? (even if her/his father was saddam hussain, would he be a worse person), It is nice meeting you (How can u say it is nice, its feels like someone is churning my intestine when I hear this.)'.

Once someone I had just met said... "Hey, it is nice meeting you...” I wanted to hold him at his throat and ask him... 'What was nice, you moron....’... But you know people with good manners do not do it... So had to stop myself.

Back to where I had stopped, ILP: the class full of living things were chattering away in various Dravidian Langs. I do not know Tamil, Telugu and Malayalam. They wanted me to laugh at a joke... Bloody hell. The joke was in some strange dialect... and I wanted to jump out of the window. But the room had an AC... And no windows.

I stuck close to my buddies, 3 of them from my college. I just would not let them go. I was labeled arrogant, self centered, a person who thot she knew it all. Okay... So?? Then began the classes. Walked in the trainer... Even the living thing that crawled in belonged to the genus of the other living things…they all croaked with the same tune. Argh. Yuck.. The breaks were a breather.. I ran to my frens. The moment I saw them, I realized that life is not that bad after all.
But then now when I think of it all... it was not that torturous. Pretty tolerable. It was my own perception of things that has changed. When ever I know I am going to be disconcerted by a xeno, I reply with a cute - "Hello, Im fine. Hope you are good too".. Since, I assume that they are good, I do not give them a chance to reply and fire me with their litany of woes..